Eminem - The Real Slim Shady

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[00:02.67] May I have your attention please? [00:05.74] May I have your attention please? [00:08.87] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? [00:12.07] I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up? [00:17.28] We're going to have a problem here [00:18.33] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before [00:20.13] Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door [00:22.98] Started whoopin' her ass worse than before, they first get divorced [00:25.76] Throwing her over furniture [00:26.82] It's the return of the "Oh wait, no way, your kidding, [00:29.77] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" [00:32.12] And Dr Dre said [00:33.46] Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha) [00:36.70] Feminist women love Eminem, [00:38.17] chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him [00:40.83] Look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what [00:43.46] Flippin' the you know who "yeah, but he's so cute though" [00:45.86] Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose [00:48.11] But no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms [00:50.49] Sometimes I want to get on TV and just let loose, but can't, [00:53.33] But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose [00:55.52] My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips [00:57.77] And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss [01:00.02] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids [01:02.13] And expect them not to know what a women's clitoris is. [01:04.34] Of course they gonna know what [01:05.63] intercourse is, by the time they hit 4th grade, [01:07.69] They got the discovery channel don't they? [01:09.29] We ain't nothing but mammals, [01:10.89] Well some of us cannibals, who cut other people open like cantaloupes. [01:13.66] But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes [01:15.96] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope [01:18.43] But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote. [01:20.54] Women wave your pantyhose, sing the and it goes [01:23.04] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [01:25.02] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [01:27.37] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, [01:29.58] Please stand up, [01:30.80] Please stand up [01:32.04] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [01:34.50] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [01:36.97] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, [01:39.56] Please stand up, [01:40.67] Please stand up [01:41.87] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records [01:44.03] Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too. [01:46.20] You think I give a damn about a Grammy? [01:48.23] Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me. [01:50.90] "But Slim what if you win wouldn't it be weird?" [01:53.02] Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here? [01:55.13] So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears. [01:57.54] Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs [01:59.84] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst [02:02.01] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first. [02:04.36] Little bitch put me on blast on M-T-V [02:06.78] "Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, he he" [02:08.96] I should download her audio on mp3 [02:11.29] And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. [02:13.57] I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me [02:16.55] So I've been sent here to destroy you [02:18.49] And there's a million of us just like me [02:20.44] Who cuss like me, [02:21.92] who just don't give a fuck like me, who dress like me [02:23.22] Walk, talk and act like me, it just might be the next best thing, [02:26.38] But not quite me [02:27.57] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [02:29.14] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [02:31.47] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, [02:33.76] Please stand up, [02:34.95] Please stand up [02:36.30] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [02:38.46] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [02:40.51] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, [02:42.57] Please stand up, [02:44.33] Please stand up [02:45.58] I'm like a head trip to listen to [02:46.71] 'Cause I'm only giving you, things you joke about with your friends [02:49.44] Inside your living room [02:50.52] The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all [02:52.71] And I don't gotta be false or sugar coat it at all [02:54.86] I just get on the mic and spit it, [02:57.06] and whether you like to admit it (rip) [02:58.65] I just shit it better than 90 percent of you rappers out there [03:01.21] Then you wonder how can kids eat up [03:03.27] these albums like Valiums, it's funny [03:04.72] 'Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty [03:06.59] I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting. [03:08.53] Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens [03:10.92] And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working [03:13.47] And every single person is a Slim Shady [03:14.99] lurkin' he could be workin' at Burger King [03:16.80] Spitten on your onion rings [03:17.91] Or in the parking lot circling, [03:19.52] Screaming I don't give a fuck with his windows down and system up [03:22.32] So will the real Shady, please stand up [03:24.00] And put one of those fingers on each hand up [03:26.79] And to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control [03:29.36] And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? [03:31.66] I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [03:33.64] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [03:35.81] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, [03:38.27] Please stand up, [03:39.41] Please stand up [03:40.72] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [03:42.84] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [03:44.94] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, [03:47.41] Please stand up, [03:48.75] Please stand up [03:49.98] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [03:52.03] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [03:54.36] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, [03:57.35] Please stand up, [03:58.69] Please stand up [03:59.82] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [04:01.76] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [04:03.67] So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up, [04:05.75] Please stand up, [04:06.96] Please stand up [04:09.20] Haha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us, [04:13.47] Fuck it, [04:17.03] Let's all stand up [04:20.10]